Snowglobe
by IceCrome
Summary: Y'know how they say when you're born, you have a snowglobe that protects you, and when that snowglobe cracks then you're entering the real world? Well today, my snowglobe was thrown into fire and eaten by SHARKS. [2nd prize winner]


_Ice:_

_Finally I got around to doing the second prize. Gah._

_I finally figured out what I should do. It's going to be as AU as I can possibly make it. Basically, Gaara and Lee are not going to be in Ninjaland. They're going to be regular people._

_D:  
Sucks, I know. Just shut up and read it._

_Characters © Masashi Kishimoto_

_One of my first attempts at First-Person, since I lack that. I'm GOING to make this a good story, damn it!_

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Wow.

It's cold.

Really, really cold.

In case you didn't know, my name is Gaara. Gaara Sand, to be specific. Yes, it is one of the most retarded names you'll probably ever see. Whatever, honestly, I couldn't care.

I live with my brother and sister, each older than me, in a 3BED 2.5BA in a medium-sized apartment in New York City. Due to the fact that you are most likely idiotic, I _originate_ in Japan. My mother and father passed away a few months ago. You're probably thinking, _Jackass, your parents passed away! Shouldn't you feel sad?_ Well, yes and no. Yes, because, hell, they were my parents. No, because I'm damn sure my father didn't love me.

But, I'm just happy to have my siblings and a wide variety of people who care for me. Do want me to name them off? Fine.

Ass.

Rock Lee of the Mounties. (My BFF and ever. Now I sound like a pre-pubescent girl Goddamn those 'idk my BFF Jill' commercials)

Uzumaki Naruto

Uchiha Sasuke (Who, contrary to popular belief, _isn't_ emo.)

Haruno Sakura

Hyuuga Hinata

And bunches of other people whose names are escaping me.

Right now, I'm just focusing on keeping my body temperature up. Which is amazingly difficult to do, seeing as how your bastard of a brother took away the goddamn comforter and all you're left with is three thin blankets and a sheet just so he could keep his dolls warm.

Oh wait. Puppets. Right.

I rolled awkwardly out of the twin and put on a large, warm, comfortable sweat jacket. I looked at the clock; 11:07.

Meh. It was a holiday or something, so I didn't have classes. Fortunately, Temari and Kankuro had work today, leaving me alone.

-Insert Napoleon Dynamite _Yesssssss_ here- (Yes, I love that movie. The fifth Beatle [Lee made me watch it.)

I tiredly rubbed my eyes and yawned, putting some coffee in the CoffeeMaker5000.

Oh, what a _freaking _creative name. Ugh.

Taking out my survival drink (coffee) and drinking it in moderation, I collapsed on the couch, wrapping myself in Temari's really comfortable blanket.

Oh yeah, I didn't tell you about my siblings, did I? Well, you probably don't care, but I do.

Temari is my kick-ass sister. She works at an industrial fan-making company. She's the Uchiha's supervisor. She's the oldest, and (probably) most attractive. No, I don't have the goddamn hots for my older sister. That's just creepy. I'm simply saying she's pretty.

Kankuro, my older brother. I'm closer to him than I am Temari, but god_damn_ he likes to pick on me. In that weird, brotherly-love way. He's a manager at an Art Gallery. Wants to visit the Louvre in Paris.

Deciding that I didn't want to watch any more of _The View_, and who would want to-

Ba-zing.

--I decided to get off my ass and take a shower so I would look clean.  
Oh…

Fuck.

I just remembered; Mounties and I were going to get together for lunch with Uchiha, Haruno, Hyuuga and Mounties's friend, Hyuuga Neji. Apparently, he's Hinata's cousin.

What the hell was the time I was supposed to meet him…?

I smacked my head repeatedly (Which hurt like hell. Really) until I could remember. 12: 15 sounded right. Hopefully.

I put on my plain black long-sleeved shirt with a white line across it. It was cotton. And really, really, really warm. I stole one of Kankuro's college jackets. (Screw the Giants/Jets. I'm a Colts fan. Hell yes I'm a sinner, but holy water can't fix me.) Putting on my Levi's and jacked-up old tennis shows, I headed out the door bringing my house key and awesome iPhone Temari got me for my birthday with me. I ran into my neighbor and other close friend, Matsuri. We've known each other for a while now, two years or so. She's nice and quiet. I gave her a nod of acknowledgement, and continued off, texting Mounties just to see what time I was supposed to be there.

'_Yo, when am I supposed to be at the restaurant?' _

His response was a few seconds later.

'_At twelve fifteen. Hurry up Sandman; I want you to meet Neji.'_

UGH. That's the other thing. After all of us saw Spider-Man 3, my new nickname is 'Sandman'. _Every_ freaking body I know calls me it. Except Temari, who simply calls me Gaara.

Thank God for sisters, eh?

I trudged down the stairs and walked out the door to the complex.

Holy shit.

I mean, Holy _SHIT._

It was cold. Underestimate, really, but GOD_DAMN_ it was cold.

I walked around the parking lot to find my awesome green car.

Ah yeah, Kankuro needed to borrow it. (Remind self later to put laxatives in his vitamins)

Now I'm car-less.

Fuck.

Quickly, I texted Mounties again.

'_How far do you think the restaurant is from my apt.?'_

'_Dunno. Maybe about a half-hour walk.'_

Double Fuck.

Oh, and now it starts to snow.

Triple Fuck.

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"Sandman, what took you so long?" Sakura asked me as I was covered in snow, shivering like a mad man, and I probably got frostbite/gang green.

Damn Reynauds Phenomenon.

"Well first, it started to snow, then I didn't have a car, then I had to walk A HALF _FREAKING_ HOUR just to get here, and then, I'm only wearing this flimsy thing!" My eyebrow twitched violently. She rolled her eyes and motioned for me to sit down. I took a seat next to her and Mounties.

""We haven't ordered yet, partly because we were waiting on you." Sasuke said, giving me that stupid smirk of his.

"ANYway…" Mounties said, trying desperately to change the subject, "Gaara, this is Neji, Hinata's cousin. Neji, Gaara." I shook hands with him. He looked like those weird, effeminate people, you know, those people on _American Idol _where they think they sing well but they suck, and you aren't really paying attention to their crappiness because you're trying to figure out whether they're male or female.

Yeah. Kinda like that.

"Anyway, like I was saying Hinata, there is this new thing for eye-drop for eyes; it really helps. I think it's called Bye-a-cue-gan." He pronounced it wrong, and I should know. I use it. But she corrected me before I could.

"It's Byuakugan."

"That's what I said. Bye-a-cue-gan." She rolled her eyes at her cousin.

"Right…anyway. I'm getting the salad. And you?" She turned to Sakura.

Wait, wait, wait.

What the hell?

Is Mounties's hand on my leg?

I looked down to see there was no hand. Huh. Gaara, you must be dreaming. Stop it. Stop. Now.

I looked up as the waiter came. He looked about our age; twenty something.

"Hello, can I take your order?"

"I'll have the grilled chicken sandwich, mayonnaise, tomato, lettuce only please. And just water to drink." I said, handing my folder to Sakura, who was the closest to the waiter.

"I'll have…uh…what's your soup of the day?" Mounties asked.

"Clam Chowder."

"Alright. I'll have that and a Coke to drink."

"And for you, sir?"

"Portobello sandwich, the works. Appletini to drink." Naruto said, turning to Sasuke.

"Cheeseburger, extra tomatoes. Just a sprite."

"And you miss?" Neji glared at the man.

"I'm a guy. And I'll have the main house Hamburger, with lettuce, tomato, and onions on it."

"Terribly sorry, sir. And how would you like that cooked?"

"Medium."

"And your sides?"

"Fries and mashed potatoes and a margarita to drink." He turned to Hinata.

"And for you, miss?"

"Uh…the blackened chicken salad. No sauce, please. And a berry smoothie to drink."

"Uh…House Salad, Ranch Dressing. Water to drink will be fine." And there's Sakura, the anorexic who we all know and love. Before he walked away, the waiter accidentally smacked Hinata's boobs.

I didn't really see very well, but apparently, it was hard.

"Ow my boobs! I need those for seducing!" She crashed her head onto the table. Somehow, I find that amusing.

Does that make me a bad person?

Probably.

Oh wait, what the hell?!

Is his hand on my frickin' leg again? Aw jeez, it better not be.

Thankfully, I looked down and saw no hand.

After a while of comfortable silence, Naruto spoke up and said something…odd.

"Y'know how they say being gay is an illness? Well, why don't people just call in to work gay? They'd be like, '_Oh, sorry, can't come into work today again. Still queer_.'" I joined in Sasuke, Neji, and Mounties in laughing. Hinata and Sakura just rolled their eyes.

"That isn't right, you know. Gay people have to deal with a whole bunch of crap in their lives. Your jokes aren't making it any easier." Naruto slapped Hinata's back playfully.

"Oh lighten up, Hinata! We're not insulting them or anything! Technically, we're makin' fun of the homophobes!" Sakura rolled her eyes once more. Jesus, what the hell is up with women and rolling their goddamn eyes? It's like a habit or something. God.

Eventually, after more witty comments and laughter, our food came. Mine was particularly delicious. I heard Sakura complain that there was too much lettuce in her salad-

Again, I say, Sakura…eat something.

-and we all had to listen to her bitch about it for ten minutes. I think Naruto finally kicked her.

Hinata didn't like hers, apparently. She kept picking at it. Neji just…_devoured _his freakin' burger. I timed him in my mind. It took him two minutes to eat the whole thing. That's gotta be a record.

Naruto complained about how his Portobello wasn't good enough, and Sasuke being the quote-unquote 'not emo' he was, ate quietly while the rest of us chattered away incessantly. Naruto valiantly tried getting him to talk, but, eh, it's Sasuke.

As soon as the bill was paid and we ate the cheesecake we usually got for dessert, we all got in our cars and drove home.

Oh wait. I don't have a car.

…Fuck you God.

"Hey! I need a ride home!" I shouted, Naruto shrugged, said he had to go back to work. Hinata, who carpooled with Naruto and Neji, shook her head sympathetically. Sakura couldn't, and Sasuke didn't even _offer_, so I was stuck with Mounties.

Oh great. The guy who has (allegedly) been hitting on me.

God. Fucking. Dammit.

No, it isn't that I hate him; it's just…just…well, how the hell would you feel? A guy's been (allegedly) hitting on you, and you have to share a frickin' car with him? That sucks!

I sighed heavily as I followed him out to his 2006 Toyota Hybrid, which I totally want instead of my crappy 2005 Scion.

I ceased my internal whining and bitching about the world, and continued freezing my ass off.

Oh. Sweet. Jesus.

You know how they say, that when you're born you have this snowglobe that like, 'protects you', and then when you finally enter the real world it starts to crack? Well, my snowglobe was thrown into fire and eaten by _sharks._

And you want to know why?

I swear to Jesus, Buddha, Xenu, God, Vishnu, he just _groped_ my _ass_.

Strangely, I didn't protest.

Oh god, I think I might be gay.

Ugh.

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_Dear Journal,_

(Yes, I have a journal. Temari got it for me last year so I could bitch and whine here, and not to my siblings/to random people on the street. Oh shut up. I like it. It isn't a DIARY, it's a journal)

_Today was boring and stupid and crappy and annoying. _

_Oh, did I mention I was groped by my good friend?  
No, I didn't, did I?_

_Oh yeah, well it happened. And, well…I might be gay. _

_Uncle Sasori sure would be proud of me. _

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_Ice: GOD JESUS, I made him sound like a whiny teenage pessimistic girl…OH MY GOD, HE SOUNDED LIKE ME._

_D:  
Mother…goddamn it…_

_Well, sorry it took so long. Blame Canada. _

_R&R._


End file.
